Two opposite/complementary attitudes

Hello everybody! 

When we communicate there are two opposite/complementary attitudes we can adopt:

We can focus on the message, or on the people. Ideally we should be able to focus on both at the same time, which is blatant multitasking, and requires a bit of training, even for women. 

When we focus on the message exclusively, we want the receiving end to get it right. We give as many details, explanations and precision as necessary to dispel any possible ambiguity. We want them to know just what we mean. 

If we are a project manager, a teacher, a passionate activist or someone telling their lawyer how badly the person we are now divorcing has been, we are likely to adopt spontaneously this attitude. We may forget that human beings can get tired, distracted or bored.
 

The opposite (and complementary) attitude is to focus on the people. We ask ourselves questions such as:
- What will work with them? 
- What will trigger their interest, spark their enthusiasm? What will get them excited? 
- What do they like, what do they love, what do they need? 
- What do they expect?

...and we adjust our message accordingly...
 

If we are entertainers, marketers or one of those ethically flexible politicians, we might well go that way... If we want to be accepted in a group or create new connections, it is the right thing to do.

Efficient communication is a balanced attitude. It is important to know how to reach to people, and to be faithful to ourselves and our message at the same time.


In Organic Speaking sessions, I encourage you to get detached from the message and experiment with the relationship side of speaking to an audience, because that's what most of us need to improve. 
However, the message is not to be binned altogether! 
We just need to remember that even if we were able to say all there is to say about a particular topic, people wouldn't remember everything. 
We, people, need motivation more than information. 
We should remember this when we speak!
 

I would love to give you a bit of non compulsory homework, for the future sessions (see updates below) 
Prepare a one or two minutes speech (that is between 100 and 250 words) on a topic such as: 
- Health and lifestyle
- How to speak to children
- Be the change you want to see in the world
- Life is diversity
..... or whatever you may think of. Make a simple and clear point (Be as specific as possible) and perform your speech with the intention of keeping your audience engaged, interested and excited... 
This homework is just a suggestion for those who want to progress quicker and enjoy more!

Two sessions are scheduled: 
This Sunday the 25th of September at 7pm: High Energy Levels (Willesden Green, NW2)
Next Sunday the 2nd of October at 7pm: Happy go Lucky. (Willesden Green, NW2)

There are always a few free for first timer tickets to grab. Here are the links: 
 High Energy Levels         Happy go Lucky

And a last thing: My YouTube Channel. I record stories and there is a playlist with public speaking tips. 
I would be happy if you subscribed to it!  

That's all for today. Thanks for being here! 

Speak soon

Jean-Marc

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Be Humble like a Lion

Be humble like a lion! Or even a dragon! It sounds like an oxymoron... Lions are symbols or pride, not of humility! 


 But just think about it... humility is NOT about behaving as if we are smaller than we really are. Humility is about not pretending. 

 

 A famous Buddhist story goes like this: Once an orphaned lion cub was adopted by a shepherd and brought up among sheep. As a result of this, the lion bleated like a sheep, ate grass and was scared by anything. It simply believed it was a sheep itself. But one day, this lion saw its reflection mirrored in water. It roared, left the shepherd and the sheep and lived as a lion ever after. 

 

 It must have taken a lot of humility for this lion to become the lion, don't you think so?  If we suddenly realized that we had been living like a sheep for so much time when we were actually a lion, we might well feel very ashamed of ourselves when meeting other lions. Maybe we wouldn't dare to roar at all... 

 

Once we accept we might well be a lion after all, it is difficult to keep up appearances. Having trained for life as a sheep, our first steps as a lion will probably not be the most glorious ever... We could be the best among sheep, and we found ourselves the black sheep of the lion tribe. The black lion. Well you see what I mean. The one with obvious flaws (or at least we would feel like that...) 

 

 With humility we can become a small lion and live like a lion among lions. Humility is about roaring anyway. It's about laughing rather than freezing when we are not as good as we wished we were. It's getting rid of the burden of keeping up appearances and accepting to be still learning, still struggling with difficulties, and thinking: "That's OK!"

 With humility, we are not humiliated. 

 With pride we would just remain the bigger sheep of the herd... 

 

 To build up our confidence, let's start with the mindset. The more we accept our imperfections, the easier it becomes to roar, speak, laugh out loud, go on a date, have fun, join a new social circle...  

 

 Let's be happy and roar! 

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 And now, on to the second section of this newsletter:    

Speed Public Speaking is no more. Our public speaking club is now called Organic Speaking! 

  ...and the main line has become: build up confidence, improve communication skills, and express yourself!

 

 Why? ... 

 

 - It sounds more like me! I am a performing artist, a story teller, a bit of a philosopher and not someone from the corporate environment. My values are ethics, environment, spirituality, personal development... 

 

 - The word "Speed" started to annoy me, when I would rather claim "Let's slow down!"  

 

 - I love helping people. I am really passionate about communication and expressing oneself. These are skills for life.  There is much more to what I have to give than just being able to do a proper presentation at work or a best man speech. (However I can still help you with that!) 

 

 - Organic growth is healthy growth. 

 

 - Organic Speaking is about becoming who we really are and expressing it.

This is the root of success in life, at work, in love, with children, from a stage and in any area of social life... including making presentation, if you really want that! 

 

 

We will still practice standing up in front of the group and speaking. The format of the sessions remains the same. The new name is simply needed to express what we are already doing more accurately. 

 

 

 Thank you for your fidelity! 

 

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 Updates and how to win free sessions.

 

 To win free sessions... bring guests! It shouldn't be too difficult given that first timers are still welcome for a non-compulsory voluntary donation. Each time you bring two first timers, you get a free session. I need your help to grow organically...